Do You Trust Me?
By mstrohm | April 16, 2012
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
It is my extreme pleasure to be the Nursery School and Day Care Director for my church. We have been short handed, so I also have the pleasure of being in the classroom more often. Over the last few weeks, I have enjoyed getting to know the students and families, and one student named Canton* in particular. Due to many difficult life experiences, Canton does not take disappointment very well. When disappointment presents itself, Canton withdraws to a corner, flops down and pouts.
In the last week there were three occasions when Canton was disappointed. First, Canton wanted to participate in a fun event in which three children are chosen each day and the others must wait for another day. The second disappointment was being told he would get the job of cleaning the lunch table, only to find the job had been promised to another child. The last incident was when I noticed Canton pick up a jelly bean from the floor and slip it into his pocket. When I asked what he had in his pocket he willingly gave me the jelly bean, but ran and hid, filled with sorrow over his loss.
In each situation I asked him a direct question, “Do you trust me?” Because I know Canton’s background is filled with hurt and rejection I have a deep desire for him to have good, rewarding experiences. In order for me to help him, he must trust me. What broke my heart each time was that Canton found it difficult to trust me. I thought, “If he only knew my heart! I want what is best for him. I don’t want to crush him or do something unfair. I really, really want to help this boy, but he won’t let me.”
In the first instance, Canton was chosen to participate in the fun event the next day. When I accidentally promised he could wash the table I found a “new” job for him to do, sweeping the floor. The day he found the old jelly bean on the floor and hid it in his pocket, his entire class received a jelly bean when they finished their snack, so by trading in the dirty, old jelly bean Canton was able to get the jelly bean of his choice instead!
This week while waiting for our Easter service to begin, I was praying quietly, preparing my heart. I confessed to the Lord some painful situations and fears I have been having lately. I was fearful that God would not answer my prayers in the way I was hoping or in my timing. I wondered if I needed to take action to make sure these issues were resolved my way.
My exact words to Canton rang in my heart, “Do you trust me?” I was instantly thinking of little 5 year old Canton sitting in the corner pouting because things did not turn out the way he wanted. Yet, if that little 5 year old knew what I knew, he would be assured that things were going to turn out just fine. He only lacked trust.
Our heavenly Father wants to bring blessings and treasures to me too, but all too often I throw myself into the corner because I was asked to give up my dirty jelly bean, not realizing that if I would just trust God I would get my choice of jelly beans.
Lord, help me to trust you, you love and care for me and for my children far more than I can imagine!
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
*Canton is not his real name
|Topics: From Ellen, From Mark, Parenting | No Comments »
Learning to Be Content
By mstrohm | December 31, 2011
1 Timothy 6:6: But godliness with contentment is great gain.
Let me wish each of you a very happy New Year!
As I look back on 2011 I am not sure I would want to relive this year. My wife and I estimate that I was sick for roughly half of 2011. As the year marched on I succumbed to whining and would often state “I am sick of being sick and I am tired of being tired!” This fall after 6 days in the hospital I was finally diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor which resides inside my head and causes multiple hormone imbalances resulting in fatigue and inability to fight infection.
Even before I landed in the hospital God began a work in my heart. My desire grew to learn to be content. I figured if Paul, the man who was whipped, beaten, shipwrecked and put in prison was proclaiming that he had learned to be content, then I should learn this important state of mind as well. But I had one major problem. I had definite opinions on how I thought life “ought to be.” My “ought to be” state of mind caused me to focus on what was not meeting my expectations rather than the blessings God was giving me.
A prime example would stare me in the face every fall. I grew up in Connecticut where there are many, many Maple trees. Fall brought spectacular brilliant reds and bright orange colors. As an adult I lived in Virginia, Illinois and now here in Pennsylvania. In my mind, a Connecticut fall was the way it “ought to be.” But in Virginia, Illinois and Pennsylvania the trees are not as bright and lacked the brilliant reds and oranges. Instead, Pennsylvania Fall brings a mellower yellow, brown and tan display. For most of my adult life I have been disappointed every fall. This Fall I drove over an hour, twice each week to teach a class at Lancaster Bible College. While on my long drives I realized that my disappointment has prevented me from enjoying a different, but still very beautiful Fall.
I know I am not the only person who suffers from the way it “ought to be” problem. I hear parent after parent express hopes and dreams for their children. Hopes for intelligence, physical abilities, accomplishments, good looks, etc… Parents think they know how their child “ought to be.” But rarely do our children turn out the way we think they “ought to be.” Just as I missed the unique beauty of each fall season, many parents focus on their child’s “ought to be,” thus missing the exceptional qualities in their child.
From one struggling “ought to be” individual to another, let me encourage you to lay down your own expectations and dreams for your child this year. I encourage you to lay down all of your “ought to be” dreams while seeking God in prayer. Confess how you want things to be and then ask God to show you what is really important and what He wants for you and for your child.
I am not saying you should give up teaching your child about self discipline, high standards or expecting them to work hard! Instead, I am encouraging you to make sure your efforts are in line with God’s desires, God’s standards and not a result of your own “ought to be” expectations. Once the “ought to be” is removed, I pray you will learn to enjoy each of your children – just the way God made them!
Mark Strohm
Philippians 4: 10-14
“I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.”
Topics: From Mark, Parenting | 4 Comments »
5 Steps To Keep Your Child Safe In the Changing Technology Landscape
By mstrohm | December 27, 2011
I just read a major family ministries “hint” on how to keep your child safe online. Their hint – keep the family computer in a common area. What? That may have worked 5 years ago, but today’s changing technology landscape has brought new challenges demanding new strategies for parents living in 2012!
iPods, iPhones, iPad, Android Tablets, mp3 Players, Video Players, Smart Phones, Texting, BBMessaging, Picture Messaging, Phone Posting to Social Media, Gaming Systems, DVD and Blu Ray Players with Internet Access, Kindle Fire, etc. – all ways your child can both communicate and gain access to media and materials without your knowledge.
With an explosion of technology devices that connect to the internet the old strategies that focused on computer based safety are leaving a new generation of tech savvy young people venerable to inappropriate, crude and hurtful content and communications. How can parents help their child avoid trouble in a world that offers our children dozens of ways to connect? Here are five key steps you can use to keep your children from troubles.
Step #1 – Spend most of your time and most of your efforts on developing a good personal relationship with your child.
Research has continued to reveal that children who have good relationships with their parents are less vulnerable to predators and are able to weather hurtful, personal attacks better than those who do not. Time with your child is important. But you also need to invest great effort in sharing your faith, getting to know your child’s strength, weaknesses and fears. Learn who their friends are and help them have healthy relationships with others. Make sure you:
- Love your child
- Become your child’s primary teacher
- Teach them to be wise to the ways of the world
- Openly discuss temptations and struggles
Step #2 – Set up a contract that clearly establishes technology as a privilege.
- Don’t just lecture, but train and give clear expectations in the form of rules/guidelines for each new device. How much time is appropriate? What activities are acceptable? What actions are inappropriate? If your child fails to follow your rules be ready to take action including a time out from the use of technology, restitution if necessary and a path to earn back the technology through exhibiting responsibility. Visit http://colossians2.com/cyber/resources/ for more information.
Step #3 – Set up OpenDNS on your home router. If you have cable, fiberoptic internet service or any service provided through a router you can visit http://www.opendns.com/ for more information. This service is free for your home and comes in an “automatic package” and a version that allows you to choose your own settings. While OpenDNS tends to add new inappropriate internet sites and blogs after a process that takes some time, they still block much inappropriate material and work with all internet devices including the new DVD and BluRay internet connected players.
Step #4 – Use tracking or monitoring software for your child’s devices. Tracking and monitoring software is very effective for alerting you to inappropriate activities. Parents should not rely on the software alone to block all inappropriate material since the internet changes so rapidly. These services are a great help! I recommend the following:
iOS including iPod Touch, iPhone, iPad – Safe Eyes (click on the banner to the right for more info on Safe Eyes.)
Computers both Mac and Windows – Safe Eyes
Android Devices (including Amazon Kindle Fire) – X3 Watch
Smart Phones – Use your carrier to track usage and internet sites visited
Step #5 – Communicate with those who are responsible for your children – school, youth group, parents of friends, babysitters, etc… Do not assume your school, church or family friends know how to protect your child. Ask, Ask, Ask. Does the camp or retreat center have guidelines in place? Are there clear expectations for behavior? What are the rules regarding pictures or videos taken via phone? Are children allowed to share personal information on school teams and competitions? Find out and be ready to be part of the solution.
Don’t Despair
The dizzying array of technology is very exciting and also confusing. Parents should not be intimidated or feel that all control and influence is surrendered if you allow your child to use internet connected devices. Wise parents will strike a balance between monitoring and trust. As your child demonstrates understanding of and respect for your guidelines and standards, they can enjoy the freedom to use the devices within the safe zone you establish.
For more information on keeping your child safe visit http://CyberSafetySeminar.com
|Topics: From Ellen, From Mark, Parenting | No Comments »
Merry Christmas from the Strohms
By mstrohm | December 24, 2011
Dear Family and Friends,
The Strohm family would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
This has been an eventful year for us! From the bottom of our hearts we would like to thank the many, many friends and family who prayed, sent notes, made calls both during Mark’s Mom’s battle with cancer and during Mark’s sickness. Our hearts were overwhelmed with family and friends who were lifting us up and praying. It has humbled us and has given us a deep appreciation for the community of Christian believers.
The grandchildren – Gavin, Elena, Olivia
The year began with Mark closing his book recycling business. Our hope was to have Mark phase back into full time ministry, but the steps God had ordered were a bit different than what was anticipated. Mark worked on developing parenting materials, coached high school tennis, taught a class at Lancaster Bible College and worked with our church to help restore their pre-kindergarten and daycare. As the year progressed, Mark found himself frequently sick and unable to get well. After being sick for more than 4 months, Mark ended up in the Hospital for 6 days. Dozens of tests, scans and two hospitals later, Mark was diagnosed with a Pituitary Adenoma. The non-cancerous tumor is being treated with medications. While his recovery has been slow, the frequent sickness cycle has ceased and Mark is resuming activities.
Ellen has continued her work at Global Scripture Impact, a division of American Bible Society. Ellen was promoted to a more senior management position and is now “Client Development and Operations Manager.” This summer Ellen’s sister, Stephanie McDonald, along with her husband Dwayne and their three children visited with us. At the end of the summer, Ellen lost her grandmother, Marty Southard, and not too long after, Marty’s sister, Alice passed. While it was a sad time, it was nice to see her parents, Uncle Art & Aunt Susie and have time together with her sisters.
Julie finished her college coursework and has officially earned her bachelor’s degree this December! She recently finished her internship at a small church in New Holland, PA, and has now begun actively seeking employment. In the meantime, she continues to work for a family as a part-time Nanny. Julie began dating Jonathan Taylor, a Valley Forge Christian College grad, in February. Jonathan is a youth pastor in Middletown, DE.
Abigail transferred from Delaware County Community College and now attends Valley Forge Christian College as a business major. She enjoyed staying on campus this past semester, joining 4 other family members there. Abigail works with our church’s youth group and works as a server at a local restaurant.
This summer we were able to visit family. First stop was Charleston. Mark’s parents were praising God for Mark’s Mom being cancer free for over 6 months and continues to be a real miracle.
Andy, Kelly and Gavin
After visiting Mark’s parents, we visited Lakeland, Florida to see Andy, his wife, Kelly and son Gavin. Andy continues to do well at Geico where he is Supervisor of a sales team. Kelly has done a beautiful job decorating their new home and is a wonderful mother to little almost 2 year old Gavin. Later in the year we were pleased to learn that Andy and Kelly are expecting their second child in April.
Andrew, Alli, Elena and Olivia
We then visited Alli and her husband Andrew Hyer and two daughters, Elena and Olivia in Casselberry, FL. Andrew’s online media business continues to grow. Andrew’s business grew out of his two car garage and he now rents a small warehouse. Alli enjoys investing in her three year old Elena and one year old Olivia, who are growing and changing almost daily. Alli’s craft blog, AlliCrafts.blogspot.com hit one million page views and is a “fun” focus for her crocheting.
Our Strohm family prays for each of you, that the peace only the Christ of Christmas can give will fill you and your home at this Christmas time…
Love,
Mark, Ellen, Julie and Abby
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Boys Adrift – Book Review
By mstrohm | December 20, 2011
Because I have been facing some health issues over the last few months I have been forced to trim my activities thus leaving more time for reading.
One book I have recently read: Boys Adrift, The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Youn Men, by Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D.
Dr. Sax outlines 5 concerns:
- Schools
- Video Games
- Medications for ADHD
- Endocrine Disruptors
- Need for Men to lead Boys to Manhood in an Organized, Purposeful Way
I enjoyed the book and found it very helpful. Dr. Sax follows the recent psychological trend in attempting to assign possible evolutionary reasons for observed or measurable behaviors and trends. This is unfortunate since the research and observations are excellent.
Perhaps what I found most encouraging from reading Boys Adrift was a confirmation of many of the concerns that I have had over the last 20 years in Education. I have long felt that our young men have been forced to conform to a school environment tailored for the typical girl. I have watched as nearly all action and exciting literature has been removed and replaced with cute, sweet, relationship oriented literature. Many libraries have been cleansed of “aggressive” stories leading to boredom for our boys. Desks and environments have been crafted leaving little room for fidgeting and no space for large physical movement. Even playgrounds have been toned down for fear of children hurting themselves. In the name of cooperative play and lessening aggression many of the activities and games that boys love and enjoy have been removed.
Dr. Sax outlines clear concerns backing them up with common sense steps that can be taken to help our boys and young men.
If you are a parent of a boy or a teacher, I highly recommend the book. Dr. Sax will challenge many commonly held assumptions as well as challenge the stronghold academic assumptions that learning and growth are not affected by gender.
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How To Make Sure Your Son Struggles With Pornography
By mstrohm | November 28, 2011
This article on our sister site Cyber Safety Seminar continues to be a vital message for moms and dads! I urge you to read this if you have a son 9 or older!
Please don’t assume that your son will be able to fight the temptation of easy, readily available pornography. Take a few minutes a read the following article on how you can help your son avoid the temptations.
http://colossians2.com/cyber/2011/05/how-to-make-sure-your-son-struggles-with-pornography/
|Topics: From Mark, Parenting | No Comments »
Upcoming Radio Show
By mstrohm | October 13, 2011
I will have the privilege of addressing the importance of protecting children on facebook, the internet and against the onslaught of media on Yonah’s Heart – a Canadian Home School and Family radio show. You can find out more at http://yonahsheart.com/
Broadcast date: Monday October 17th, 2-3 PM EST
You can listen directly here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mpiatt/2011/10/17/social-media-and-todays-children
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Picky Eaters
By mstrohm | September 25, 2011
It is the classic Mother – Child struggle. You know what your child should be eating, but he does not want to eat what you have cooked. My 80 year old father was a picky eater as a young child. A testament to the reality that this mom-child struggle has been going on for a long time. Can moms win this battle? Is it worth the fight?
First, let me state that there are children with oral or tactile defensiveness. For parents struggling with these specific issues, you will need to compensate in the early years. This article is not for you. If you do a google search for oral defensive issues or tactile defensive eating issues you should be able to find many helpful articles for this physical condition.
Many children do not suffer from oral defensiveness issues but still give their parents a hard time when it comes to eating foods with certain tastes or textures. Moms, you know your children. I suggest you try to understand if your child fits into one of the following categories:
Strong Willed – The strong willed child who is a picky eater desires to be in control of his or her choices. Foods may be disliked, or they may not be preferred. Either way, the strong willed child wants to decide what foods to eat. Typically he or she will not make wise choices.
Here are some methods to try for the strong willed child:
Let you child know that there are times he or she will be given some choice, and other times no choice will be given. If you are at home, you can give children some flexibility, but when eating out or at a friend’s house, he or she will not have a choice. Tie the right to make future choices directly to his or her obeying and eating when no choice is given.
When at home, give your child some “choices” so they feel in control. Here is how I suggest you do this without causing yourself “extra” work.
First, give them “either-or” choices. A child should not be given the opportunity to outright deny a food or food group. You are the parent! You decide what they should eat based on your knowledge and your decision on what is best for your child. But, there are still choices. Here is my suggestion on how to present choices. Say you are going to serve carrots. If you typically slice them and cook them, give your child the following “either-or” choice. “Would you like 1 spoon full of cooked carrots with your father and I or would you like to have eat 1/2 a raw carrot?”
You can also give choices after a minimum amount of food eaten. Try the 4 spoonfuls of food rule. If you are serving meatloaf, mash potatoes and green beans, tell your child they must have at least 4 spoons full of food. You will serve them 1 spoon of meatloaf, one of mash potatoes and one of green beans. Now, give them a choice of which food they would like the 4th spoonful to come from. But they must eat all of the food given to them in order to get a special “treat” or dessert. Also, let them know that they must eat the 3 spoons of food you served in order to get up from the table. A little creativity and forethought can save you battles, but recognize that sooner or later you and your strong willed child will battle. Be loving but firm and stick to what you know to be right.
Fear of New Things – Some children have a fear of anything new. While this may seem minor compared to the strong willed child, a child with fears can be very trying to a parent. If the fear is strong enough to disrupt the emotional capacity it takes to face new experiences any and all new foods will present a real struggle to parents.
The key to helping this child is to give him or her an opportunity to adjust to the thought of a new food. Let them know that a new food will be served. You may want to incentivize new foods with a special reward or special desert. You can also make a game of the experience of trying new foods. Have each family member describe what they think the food tastes like. You can even play up who gets to try the food first, etc. Another way to deal with the fear of a new food is to have your fearful child guess what they think the food will taste like. If they verbalize their fear of what the food will taste like, take the opportunity to reassure them and remind them of any incentives you are offering.
Strong Reaction – Some children really don’t like certain tastes. I would guess many adults can remember certain foods that they disliked. You may be able to work hard and “force” your child to eat certain foods, but often your efforts do little more than teach your child how to endure the whole process.
Here are my suggestions:
Acknowledge that your child does not like the food you have cooked. But do not make an alternative for your picky eater. Instead, give your picky eater an alternative that does not cause you work. In our family if one of my children did not want what my wife made, they were given the opportunity to make their own sandwich. If they did not like the vegetable, they were allowed to make themselves a salad.
Besides the alternative, my wife would also work with the child to find a way that the “troublesome” food would be acceptable. A few of my children would not eat cooked broccoli, but they liked raw broccoli with ranch dressing. Because it did not take any more work to leave some uncooked broccoli to the side we agreed to this alternative. One daughter disliked chicken so my wife would figured out what chicken recipes she liked. We did not always make her requests, but we certainly tried to mix up the chicken recipes.
Finally, don’t allow your child to refuse nutritious food and then partake in sugary and less nutritious snacks or desserts. If your child refuses to eat and won’t work with your on an acceptable alternative, then let them go without. No child will starve while food is around. Even if it is food they do not want.
Once your child eats at the table with your family it is time to teach him your family rules. If your child develops into a picky eater, take heart with the fact that you are not alone. With some work and preparation you should be able to make it through those picky years without too many troubles.
|Topics: From Mark, Parenting | No Comments »
Yelling In The Home
By mstrohm | September 8, 2011
On one of the Christian Parenting forums I keep an eye on, the following post caught my eye:
“It seems like my house is so full of yelling. Just to normally communicate something like “May I have Juice” my 2 to screams it at unnecessary decibels. Then there’s the fighting where they both just scream until I scream at them to stop. I’ve got to figure out some way to stop all this yelling.”
Here was my reply:
I read this thread with great interest. After having been in education and working with families for more than 25 years I have seen my share of yelling.
First, lets differentiate between speaking loudly and yelling.
Some children are loud. It may be due to many different reasons. I had a child who was 70% deaf through her first 2 years until an operation that fixed this issue. She also has Sensory Issues where she does not realize how hard she pushes things or how loudly she speaks. When she really gets into a story she gets very loud. We have a “signal” we give her where we simply open our hand and slowly close the 4 fingers to the thumb, almost like a puppet slowly closing its mouth, to indicate to her that she is loud. Without missing a beat she quiets her story. Mind you, she is in her mid 20′s now and this little method took training and practice!
Children will also get loud when they are very excited about something. While this can be annoying, it is generally not a consistent problem and typically can be “endured” as a passing phase of childhood.
Basically for a child who is loud you need to train. Set up clear expectations and reward for proper execution! But in general, unless your child is purposely rejecting your clear expectations and requests, don’t treat being loud as being defiant.
Now to yelling. Nearly always yelling is a lack of self control. This is VERY different from being loud! This will nearly always be from a lack of a fruit of the spirit. Nearly ALWAYS! (oops, did my all caps mean I was yelling? 
)
First, lets look at parents who yell, then our children.
Sometimes as parents we get lazy with our teaching, training and guiding our children and we look for an “easy, quick solution” so we try out yelling. Perhaps we were taught by example and had loads of yelling in our home growing up. The reason “yelling” as an instrument for teaching, training and guiding children is inappropriate is because it is totally ineffective and typically is triggered by an emotional impulse. Discipline should not be triggered by an emotional impulse, but rather clear Loving Limits. For some parents, it may appear as effective, but it really is not. What IS effective, is when we take action.
Let me explain because this is a VERY important point. Our kids are born with an amazing ability to not listen to WHAT we SAY, but instead to watch WHAT we DO! If we look at our child and say, “stop annoying your brother by poking him with that pencil,” your child may hesitate for a moment, but then will continue right on poking. What you said actually matters little. It is what you do next that matters. If you then say “I asked you to stop poking your brother but you chose not to obey, now you have the consequence of. . . ” your child immediately realizes that you will “ask once, then take action!”
Now, if you look at the above incident and instead of asking once and handing out a consequence, you instead yell the second time and take no action, then your child immediately realizes that you will “ask once, then yell.” But he or she will register in his or her brain that you still did not take action! So now they will NEVER obey your first request because you don’t take action. You have just given your child permission to disobey you every time you make a first request because they don’t listen to WHAT we SAY, but instead WHAT we DO. If you then take action after you yell, “THAT IS IT! NOW YOU GET A CONSEQUENCE OF. . . ” your child will respond, but not to the yelling, they will respond to the last thing you do before giving a consequence. If yelling is the last thing you do, then they will respond at the point of yelling. Not because yelling is effective, but because taking action is effective!
But do we want to be parents that lose our self control and give into the impulse of yelling? Is that the example we want to show our children? I hope not! Instead you should examine how your interaction takes place and take action at the right time! Do you want to be a one request mom, a two request mom, a one request, one yell mom, a screaming raving maniac, then respond mom? It really is YOUR choice! You decide by where you take action. Your child will completely read you no matter what you decide. Children totally understand this, parents do not.
OK, now to children who yell. All kids have to learn impulse control. We teach them not to steal, not to hit, not to be rude – even if we have impulses to do these things. Often yelling is an emotional impulse. This may be due to a child who is out matched intellectually, physically, or may find yelling a convenient way to control or vent. Either way, it is a choice to give into the impulse. Yes, the impulse is not a choice, but giving into it is a lack of the fruit of the spirit of self control.
You need to talk to your child and make sure they clearly understand what you expect. Let your child know if a sibling is ridiculing him or her and he or she doesn’t know how to respond he or she has more than just two choices: 1. to take the abuse or 2. scream. Instead your child has other choices. (Now this is where parenting gets creative – you better be ready with REAL alternatives for your child on how to handle these situations!) Talk through an alternative for your child. May they come and get you to intermediate when the sibling is ridiculing them? Is there a place they can go to calm down? Parents, how will you teach your child to handle this situation? Once you have given him or her alternatives, then you can require him or her not to obey the impulse.
So in short, teach your child how to handle situations so as not to give into the impulse to yell, then give clear expectations followed by consequences for not meeting those loving limits and expectations.
A side note here – many times as you get into why some kids disobey, you may find that your parenting needs to rise to a new level. You may be surprised to find out many acts of sin have been going unchecked! If this is the case, ask God for help and begin to address the issues. If your children are being rude to each other, begin to address that problem as well as the yelling, but NEVER excuse away sin in our children, even if another person’s sin created the impulse that led to your child’s sin.
OK, sometimes I ramble too much, but after more than 25 years of working with parents I see things from a slightly different perspective. Don’t let yelling go unchecked. Instead work on those fruits of the Spirit!
May God bless you in your very, very important job of parenting!
|Topics: From Mark, Parenting | 2 Comments »
10 Lessons Learned
By mstrohm | August 4, 2011
My house has been alive with my 2 ½ and a 1 ½ year old granddaughters for the last week. I honestly forgot what the constant motion and constant vigilance was like!
I learned (or re-learned) 10 things:
#1 – Never leave sharp knives in the dishwasher where little ones can get them. NEVER!
#2 – Don’t reason with a 2 ½ year old, no matter how good your point may be. She does not need to know why lightening is dangerous and therefore finishing the walk is unwise, just hold her hand tight, turn around and walk home. Besides, your wife and daughter will not understand when you bring her in screaming because of a loud nearby thunder boom.
#3 –The quote “ An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is all wrong when it comes to two little ones. It really should be: “An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure.” Especially when it comes to setting up the training potty. Don’t wash it and think you will assemble it at a later date! Do it right away. Finding human waste on your floor just below the potty is very, very distressing.
#4 – If a 2 ½ year old says “no, I don’t like it” assume she has no idea what she is talking about, especially if you were assigned to share your steak with her. If she changes her mind and decides she really loves steak just as you eat the last bite, your family will look at you with disgust assuming you were opportunistic and will not understand when you tell them “but she said…”
#5 – Don’t pity yourself and ask “Why do I have to vacuum the rug every day?” All mothers will assume you do not have a deep and abiding love for the two little monsters that are causing all the dirt.
#6 – If you are taking a 2 ½ year old on a 10 minute walk to the park, remember to have her go to the bathroom before you leave unless you like getting there and turning around.
#7 – Never do anything in front of little ones that you don’t want them to mimic. This is especially true when it comes to splashing others in the face at the pool. When you tell the little ones to stop they will laugh.
#8 – If your daughter tells you her 1 ½ year old daughter has an allergy to corn, and you are assigned to shuck corn with the 1 ½ year old as a helper, don’t quiet her by giving her an ear to nibble. When your daughter asks what you are doing, don’t try to be funny by saying “don’t worry, corn was not listed in the ingredients.” It is likely she won’t laugh.
#9 – Don’t assume your TV is safe just because you placed your coffee table in front as a protective barrier. 2 ½ year olds can throw cups a great distance! If you do have a cup full of apple juice hit your TV and splash down the front – don’t despair. Dry it, put a fan on it and it should be fine, mine was!
#10 – Enjoy every moment you are with those little monsters. You will dearly miss them when they go!
|Topics: From Mark, Parenting | 1 Comment »
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